scrambled dice
by Ice of the Kitsune's Fire
Summary: Version II. "I'll be the one-sided love story that was never meant to be," she whispered. "But he'll never know. Not until the end." Fate dealt them the twisted dice, they had to live with the consequences. Sasusaku.


_**For those of you who have read the original **scrambled dice**, this is the re-edited ****version.**_

**Hello, Fire here! Finally got off my butt to actually write something...Kind of a new style I'm still experimenting with, so bear with me. Taken from Rawrchelle's _We'll Be a Dream_. Go read it. It's absolutely amazing.**

**Side note: dedicated to all fathers in this world, for Father's Day. And Ice, my partner in writing and crime.**

****P.S. The "..." and "~.~" you keep seeing? Those are line breaks, since this website is being irritating and won't let me separate some of the lines for effect. So yeah, please excuse their appearances.****

_**I. if only innocence could last a lifetime.**_

There once was a little boy, and a little girl.

The little boy had dark, innocent eyes and an adorable mane of hair, and he loved his big brother very much. The little girl had bright, expressive eyes and ribbon-accentuated pink hair. She adored the little boy with a cherub-like glow, timid blushes and all.

They both enrolled in the ninja academy, and all she could do was turn red and titter about how startling handsome that boy three seats down was. The rest of the little girls agreed immediately. The little boy was unused to female attentions, but he smiled and greeted them politely- "Good morning, Goodbye, It's a Pleasure to Meet You." The little girls were quite charmed by the boy, and began to scramble for a claim.

"No, he's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Sasuke-kun likes _me_ better, right?"

_Timid blush. _ "I think you're all pretty…"

_Squeals. _"Oh, Sasuke-kun, you're the _best_."

It didn't matter to him if the girls were all pretty. He was fine as long as he had his favorite with him. His green-orbed, laughing playmate-

-who never failed to make him smile.

_**II. Blood will shed blood, and clot the breathing heart.**_

_a careless roll of even deaths_

_2, 4, 6, _

_8. _

_Even something _

_that should have never been allowed _

_to exist._

The Uchiha Massacre happened.

The man-that-was-still-yet-a-boy betrayed his entire family by slaughtering them. In their beds, in the night. One by one they fell, proud and scarlet, with just a glimmer of sorrow in their eyes. The ones that could have stood a chance at stopping him-his father, his mother, his uncle- they all smiled sadly and reveled the feel of the hard, wooden floor before he slashed the blade over their necks.

His mother saved him the pain of approaching her. After his father had been cut down, she calmly took a kunai and tilted it toward her throat.

"I forgive you, my son. I wish it did not have to turn out this way." There were tears in her eyes, but she still swiftly severed the vein, the blood splaying and flying like a thin snake. The drops hit him in the face like white dust. A larger blotch stained his heart as Mikoto swayed and fell, her hair landing last as a soft rustle.

He turned away to meet the eyes of his younger brother.

"_**WHY?"**__ Tears, clenched fists. Why was he doing this? Had everything he knew-thought-_loved_ about Itachi been a lie…?_

"Hate me," he intoned at last. "Grow to hate me more with every passing day." It was the only words he could say. He shut his eyes, lifting them in a bloody flash. _Red whirls._ Spinning, captivating, drowning Sasuke in the bloody action, stabbing the still-fresh wounds in his heart.

Itachi left for the Akatsuki the same hour.

Sasuke was only six. His brother was only thirteen.

He wasn't the only one scarred that night.

~.~

The next day he awoke in a hospital, whispers the first sound that accompanied him to his new world.

"They say he's the only survivor…but he couldn't have possibly fought him off. After all, Itachi was their genius-"

"Shh! Don't mention the name. It's bad luck as it is, with so many dead. I can't even begin to imagine what motivated him to do so…"

"Well, there's evil geniuses for a reason, eh? Such a poor boy he left behind, no family, and so young too…"

Sasuke blinked, and the nurses quickly cut off their conversation to check on his vitals. Not that it was needed, either way. He was functioning perfectly normally, nothing in his blood pressure or heartbeat to indicate danger of mortality. It was his head, however, that they feared for most.

"We should get a psychiatrist…"

The suggestion was curtailed once it had been sent to the higher ups for approval. The noisy squabbling of the council and Hokage was only added by the protests of the prominent clans. What to do with this child, they questioned. How to shelter him-each clan fought tooth and nail for guardian responsibility. Not once did it pass their minds to ask the boy himself what he wished for. Swarmed with power-hungry official's requests, the suggestion for a psychiatrist was postponed from the desk of the Hokage for months before it reached his eye.

By then, Sasuke had already checked out of the hospital and made his life between the cracks of solitude and hatred.

The little girl whose name he had forgotten served as a reminder of happier times. He hated her for it, for still frolicking and _laughing _when his entire family was _dead_, gone. His dreams were dark and muddy, but occasionally the past would flare up, golden and bitter, with images of raven-haired relatives and bright rainbow lights. Christmas.

Her face was the only thing that didn't disappear after he woke up. She was still there.

...

_**III. Bonds formed, bonds built, bonds frayed**_

_**-in disarray.**_

_we were meant to last forever_

…_so why did you leave?_

Team 7. A blonde brat, a pretty pinkette, and an avenger. That's all they were in the beginning.

Slowly, Naruto grew stronger, bolder, and smarter. Sasuke awakened his sharingan and harnessed the chidori. Sakura sacrificed her hair in the battle, rising from the dirt as a tiny seedling. But no one saw it, too distracted by the trees quickly slipping higher and higher as they competed. Before she knew it, she was too far behind to catch up. The boys were in a realm of their own.

But they were close, getting closer, blood and sweat and affections binding them together until they formed a woven wall. It was brittle and ragged, but had a sort of sinewy quality that tangled them together.

One day, Naruto gained the rasengan. It was the one inconsequential thread that began to unravel them apart.

The next month, Sasuke was sent into a coma, induced by none other then Uchiha Itachi. Upon awakening, he demanded a fight with the Kyuubi container. The fight began on the roof of the hospital, and ended in the valley with the two stone guardians.

Sasuke left. And he ignored the pleas of the pretty pinkette, because that's all she was. Pretty and useless. The light-tinted memories of pealed apples and bandaging hands were pushed to the side, dominated by his will for revenge.

He had forgotten the little innocent boy and the bright-eyed girl who used to make him smile.

...

_**IV. it's different now in every glance**_

…_**if only you had stayed.**_

_time keeps spinning faster_

_you keep leaping forward_

_and now_

_all the cards are reshuffled_

_laid out_

_and yet I can't see them._

Sasuke trained in the dark that was his home, which seeped into his eyes, his lungs, his heart.

Sakura suffered a hit to her world, and it slowly started to spin, spinning, on a tilt, on an axis that had yet to form. She fulfilled her potential by going to Tsunade, and trained in the light of the day, even into the dusky shades of grey when she was determined. She matured, grew into her identity, until her skill was renowned.

One day, they met again, him standing high on the cliff, almost like the pedestal she used to put him on.

Uchiha Sasuke, missing-nin, wielder of chidori, sharingan, and one of the last Uchihas in existence. Haruno Sakura, loyal medic nin, defeater of Sasori and heir to Tsunade's super strength.

But when their eyes met, that was not the case.

Uchiha Sasuke, misguided dark warrior that hid his weeping child from the world. Haruno Sakura, heartbroken young girl who came too late to heal him.

Her team did not stand a chance against him. They returned to Konoha with bags full of heavy dust, stamping a "FAILURE" seal on the mission file.

"There's still a chance," argued Sakura. "There's still a part of him that believes." Her face fell. "It's just that…he's trying to toss that side of him away. The pieces are almost all gone."

Each party threw themselves into backbreaking training, goals sharp in their determined minds.

...

_**V. you're so far away, but you still won't leave me**_

_**-alone.**_

_whisper, whisper_

_in my ear_

_let's play telephone_

_and shatter _

_my hopes._

Time passed, and rumors flew back and forth.

"Did you hear-yes, yes, so it _is_ true?"

"Orochimaru. Dead. I thought I'd never see the day, with his unearthly body-switch techniques…damn man was obsessed with immortality. Ha! That Uchiha showed him."

"But that just proves how dangerous he is now. Stronger then Orochimaru. Shit."

"Shame that all the best criminals come from Fire Country. Kinda gives Konoha a bad reputation, dontcha think?"

~.~

"Itachi is dead." Shock froze the room in a sort of suspended state of time. Naruto took a deep breath, voicing the unspoken question. For the first time in a long time, his voice shook slightly.

"Does…Does that mean he's coming back?"

Was it wrong that they already knew the dreaded answer before the question was voiced? Was it wrong that a bubble of hope was making its way through her chest waiting for Tsuande's response? _Why was she hoping?-_

"…Sasuke has shown no inclination toward returning to Konoha. It is likely that he has turned to…other endeavors."

Silence.

_Like what? Screwing__ whores behind her back? As _if_ he was ever hers to defend – _

The warm bubble that had been floating up suddenly burst, bringing a sharp, hot sting to her throat and eyes before evaporating, leaving a cold seed of hopelessness.

It didn't matter. She had already expected this. So why were there tears behind her lashes?

_I refuse to break, I won't, don'tcrydon'tcry – _

Naruto's clenched fists alone expressed more emotion then she could bear to show.

...

_**VI. no matter how hard I try**_

…_**I can't end this.**_

_it's the sixth roll now_

_i'll try to defy fate_

_and choose _

_my own ending._

She was going to kill him. She was going to kill him in order to save him from the rapidly-increasing descent into darkness, before he could be completely lost, before he could hurt any of her loved ones – before he could hurt _her _anymore-

_-maybe it'll all finally end with this. I can't take it anymore._

_Deceive, Develop, Dive._ The concepts every proficient kunouichi knew by heart, the basis of assassination missions, designed especially for those undercover.

_Deceive._

She played the intelligent planner as she asked Kiba for his exact location. The tracker blinked before relaying the information, slightly confused before-

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Wha-?"

_This is for you, Sasuke-kun._ Working quickly, she slammed the smoke bombs onto the earth, causing the balls to crack and spew out purple smoke, lulling them her team into a hazy trance.

"Sleeping…powder…" Sai's head slumped to the ground after the statement, unable to continue.

_I'll do whatever it takes to save you._

_~.~_

"I'm joining you." The words were strong, almost loud in the silent setting. His head cocked to the side, as if discerning her motives.

"You would betray Konoha?" His questioning was barely audible, deadly. Her answer was the opposite.

"Yes."

"…You are a medic-nin, are you not?" She heard his unspoken words: _You could be useful._ "If so…kill her." Flippant. Nonchalant. "She is of no use to me."

_Was I like that before? Could I have been this girl if I had followed him?_

Hand silently shaking, she made her way toward the directed redhead, tears spilling at how far gone he was. So weak. The redhead was obviously injured, how easy it would be to just take her kunai and swipe it across…how swift, cold, like _him-_

No. She couldn't falter now.

_Develop._

Sqish. Slick blood. The quick breaths from the redhead fell silent within a moment.

Her kunai was bloody with the murder. She paid it no mind.

_She was innocent, she was unguarded, and I just _killed_ her without a second thought-_

_-what kind of medic am I? I'm supposed to save lives, not take them – _

_- like him._

She inhaled slowly, _breathe, just breathe,_ turning to stare unflinchingly into his eyes. The red orbs briefly flickered to assess her work, then to catalog the fresh tears in her face-but that was to be expected. Her killing without tears would be…suspicious. He nodded and pivoted, walking away, fully expecting her to follow. Her devotion to him would discourage any attempts at defying orders.

_Dive._

Lunging, she took that golden opportunity to strike – metal flashing, too fast for him to defend his backside…

Only to stop a centimeter from his back, _why - _the sharp edge missing him _-can't I do this?_ Her hand shook, and she abruptly realized that she was weak, she couldn't do this, she still _cared_. She cared too much. So she didn't even try to resist as he whirled on her, calloused hands snatching at her neck, sharingan spinning with malice. She couldn't breathe. Everything was taking on a hazy quality, almost dreamlike, lulling her to sleep-

And then suddenly she could inhale, and she choked, hard, sucking in air and hacking in Naruto's arms, and he was so warm and Sasuke so cold _– like polar opposites – _

She hated herself for the thought.

They returned back to Konoha, and she cried the whole way back.

...

_I, II, III_

_IV, V, VI._

_6 sides on the spinning dice_

_all of the chances done and gone_

_the seventh roll spells the end_

_and all our hopes turn to ice._

_..._

_**VII. they were never going to have a happy ending**_

_**-just a stolen glimpse of time.**_

_..._

Their last and final meeting was on the battlefield, on opposite sides. Akatsuki was pulling an all-out invasion, and the sight of red clouds against a black background was enough to give her a tug of fear in her stomach.

The tug morphed into a wrench of heartache as he drew closer, that familiar face cold and merciless, eyes crimson with a thirst for revenge.

_Is that – no. nonono. _Why_, Sasuke-kun?_

_Why are you wearing the colors of my enemy?_

"Sakura."

Mercy, how long had it been since she had heard her name from those lips? Two years? Five?

"Sasuke," she spat back, determined not to show any form of weakness. Showing any would just get her killed. Where was Naruto when you needed him?

But that was all the warning she got before he rushed at her_. Why are you doing this? -_ swiping at her with obvious grace, his blade slicing into her flesh within seconds. She barely managed to leap away to avoid critical injury, her torso contorting with the sudden movement.

But she didn't get any time to heal the cut before he was swerving around her again, blade singing as it sliced through the air, and a part of her could only marvel at the clear, ringing tones.

Ruthless. Cold. Unaffected. Efficient to the point of a robot. Why-_why was he doing this?_ All those years together, knowing him, chasing him, missing him-were they all just dust under his feet? Always rising after his foot lifted from his latest blow, trying to capture and bring him back- but too slow, couldn't keep up _– I couldn't keep up -_ doomed to stay behind.

No. No. _No_, she didn't have time for this. She couldn't let this get in her way. Forcing herself to concentrate, she sank into the recesses of strategy. One hit. All she needed was one, well-aimed hit, and she could end this. Her chakra enhanced strength was more then enough to end the fight-it was simply a matter of getting in a punch. But he wasn't giving her any openings, simply coming after her with his katana, shrill tunes advertising direction and sheer speed. He was getting too close. Raising a fist, she brought it down to the ground. The earth responded with a muted moan, a chasm ripping and tearing through the strewn grass, swallowing comrades and enemy alike. The diversion gave her a few, precious seconds to distance herself from him, quickly healing herself in the process.

He, however, was not deterred. In desperation, she summoned Katsuya and her daughters with a flourish, commanding them eject acid at will. _He always cut through her defenses – he surely would crumble these pitiful ones as well – _Shaking her head defiantly at her thoughts, she hurriedly nicked one of the more unfortunate's sword, and prepared to meet him head on.

_Shing, shing, clang._ There was no time to think. She glimpsed his flat eyes each moment before their blades met. Scalpel chakra ran down the length of her weapon, designed to cut nerve and muscle if the chance arose. _If. Sasuke never left openings, no holes, no tears in his exterior to let anyone in – _

He frowned. She was trying to immobilize him, not to kill him. But he no longer had any time to play along with her scheme, and so charged Kusangi with electricity, causing Sakura's eyes to widen in alarm. _No, please, don't do this to me – _

It wasn't long until he had outmaneuvered her so her back was against the rocky wall of a cliff. It was there he plunged the tip of his sword through her shoulder, a sickening squelch only accented by her yelp of pain. The electricity was coursing through her nerves and muscles, setting them on fire. It was a miracle she hadn't screamed. With great difficulty, she lifted her head to reach his height. He was watching her with cold disdain, red eyes swirling with the Mankyou. Some part of her fuzzy brain noticed that he had avoided a vital area. He wanted her alive? _Thud, thud, thud_. For wha-

"Naruto. Where is he?"

Of course, she thought painfully, he wanted information. What else would he want her for? _No point in trying to hope anyway – _

"Like hell I'll tell you," she huffed out, blood dripping out of her wound.

"Sakura." She shut her eyes at the demand, knowing that he would utilize the sharingan on her soon. _I won't be hurt by him again._ She heard an irritated sigh at her actions, and he forced her eyelids up with his fingers. Red eyes stared at her, but there was no Tsukiyomi bursting in her head. Nothing. He was just looking at her, demanding the information. Apparently, he was working on the assumption of her love for him-that she'd just give the information up and save him the chakra. She glared back, knowing full well that she had just signed her death warrant. He glowered darkly, aura building up like the storm clouds on his cloak. But then he restrained himself, barely, eyes slowly fading back to their customary dark obsidian.

"Useless," he murmured, before withdrawing his blade. The exertion left her gasping, knees buckling and collapsing around her. Pride and the rock behind her were the only things keeping her upright. _Why haven't you run me through already? I'm expendable; you've already proved that again and again – _

She was at his mercy. A part of her snarled at the idea - _I'm a kunouichi damn it -_ and the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"You know," she gasped, "I don…don't lov-"

Eyes snapped back to hers, suddenly smoldering with ill intent.

"…anymore," she finished with a whisper. He did not move, but he glowered down on her, expressionless. His eyes, however, became even more withdrawn, and a sneer slowly formed on his face, mocking.

"As if I ever cared," he scorned disdainfully. "Did you finally realize that I would never love you back?" _So you finally acknowledge my feelings for you - _He didn't even wait for her to answer, instead whipping out his beloved blade and sinking it into her flesh, this time dangerously near her heart.

_- right before you kill me._ Her arteries spluttered as their pulsing came into contact with the blade, the renewed electric field messing with her inner pacemaker, causing her heart to beat sporadically. She coughed out blood.

"Your lying skills are pitiful."

Eyes flickered open at his accusation before her lungs began to contract with her heart's irregular spasms. _ He knew, he always knew- _She couldn't breathe properly, but she kept his eyes on his through sheer willpower, daring him to do something. His eyes were deep and less distanced then before, and something that looked like faint regret passed across his face before his expression hardened once more. She saw it. Smiling weakly at him, she tried to open her mouth – say something – but she coughed, blood spilling from her throat.

_It's not too late; - just say something, anything, I don't care – just __**try**__ for once –_

_I'm not so delusional to think that you'll try for me, Sasuke-kun._

So this was how it ended.

He watched as she struggled to live, green healing chakra flaring around her chest, trying to even out her heartbeat even though he had stemmed the electricity a while ago. It was futile, and even she had to know that. She had lost too much blood. _Pointless. Weak._ But she ceaselessly pumped her own dwindling chakra into her wounds, managing to close it up halfway. Everything was going blurry around the edges, and the only thing she could see was his face, fading from exhaustion.

_we're like scrambled dice, tossed together from the hand of fate. Odds and evens right next to each other-_

_but never meant to be together._

exhale. inhale.

_shiver._

She couldn't deny her last thought as it slipped through her grasp, through her heart, escaping from her lungs in a faint wisp.

_If things had been different – _

_in a different world _

_a different time_

_perhaps…_

…_they could have loved one another._

…

She left from this world like a fading dream.

Sasuke watched as her bright eyes dulled and lost their flicker. Watched as they silently turned to glass, green tint disappearing to leave a limp gray. Gone.

He stood there for a while, blank eyes betraying nothing. And then he slowly picked himself up, gaunt, and walked away.

Empty.

_fin._

_..._

**WELL THEN, that didn't turn out how I wanted it to. Review and tell me what you think. Constructive Criticism is highly valued! Leave a note, and make my day. :)**

**-Fire.**


End file.
